Steve Eulberg's Blog

Holocaust Museum June 2003

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Tue, 17 Mar 2009 15:08:00 +0000

(Our family visited the Holocaust Museum on two different days while in Washington, DC, just after "Mission Accomplished" showed that saying it is so doesn't make it so.)

7-1/2 tones of hair
from "liberated" scalps

The mobile killing squads
the systematic brutality

when we are scared
we readily surrender
our freedom
even our hope
for the illusion of safety.

This time,
the most touching part of the story
is to find there wer emany who resisted,
who fought,
who secreted,
who transported
Jews to safety--
The Danish flotilla,
the clergy,
the small towns....

Will my beloved little town
protect our own?
Will my neighbors band together
for the safety of the targeted?
Or will we feed our fear
by eating each other for a
breakfast of anxiety?

Breakfast of exterminators
tempted to ban
banish
dismiss the undesirable
or
make another place at the table?

Listen! Organize carefully
so we never have to face
what Maja's parents
recall in Germany.

Ask the bigger question
let your curiosity hear the buzzing alarm
and arise
the burning of books
which is unable to stifle the ideas they contain
does close the minds
of those who kindle and feed the flames.

The apathy and petty disregard...
Are we standing aside ignoring
another holocaust?
Are we beginning and conducting
another move for Lebensraum?

A glimmer of hope as the lockstep is picked:
Arizona says, "We will go Orange
only when the threat is close to us
at our own door and not before."
Other states are bound to agree.

A bird in a bush
A bush-free bird

Gone Bush

Goin' bush
walkabout in a bushy state
shrubness

King George's I & II
The rain is coming down
The reign is coming down
when conditions are right
the reign will always fall
will always fall.

King or Queen
Duke or Earl
Lord or Lady
Empress Impressive
Emperor Oppressive
Presidential precedent
the reign will always fall fail
will always fail

7.03
©Steven B. Eulberg

Fog Rolls In

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:50:00 +0000

Fog rolls in with authority
mysteriously steps back
affording us a mystical view
of the silvery water
that has no horizon

above the fog
a footlit display
of puffy clouds
and the blue sky

8.02.01
©Steven B. Eulberg

Radical Change

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:44:00 +0000

"There are two basic ways to experience a radical change: to undergo a nervous breakdown, and to fall in love. And love is preferable. love, if we can move beyond projecting onto another person and see them as they really are, also makes us more aware of who we are."

Kathleen Norris, "The Cloister Walk" (Riverhead, 1996)

Strange Footprint

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:40:00 +0000

"We have found a strange footprint on the shores of the unknown. We have devised prodound theories, one after another, to account for its origin. At last we have succeeded in reconstructing the creature that made the footprint. And lo! It is our own."

From Arthur Eddington, English Astronomer, cited in Dennis Overbye's thoughful and well-written book, "Einstein in Love: A Scientific Romance" (Viking, 2000).

Butterfly, Flutterby

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:39:00 +0000

Butterfly, flutterby
delicate, fragile
weightless beauty

so unlike me

your mechanics for flight
mine for swimming

neither at home on land.

Lake Michigan, 8.3.01

©Steven B. Eulberg

Randomness is rampant

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 18:21:00 +0000

Randomness is rampant
we assume
Yet light chooses how to appear
depending on how
the observers expects it to act

Photons "choose"
through which slit to slide

Seems incredible
until I consider us on the road
driving like blood corpuscles on
the capillaries and arteries of US highways

We have purpose--
a final destination, many days hence
but along the way we stop
for gas
for restroom relief
for food
for ice
for drink
for exercise

But to an outside observer
all of the other travellers with us
follow a flow and pattern,
perhaps predictable,
always purposeful

8.08.01
©Steven B. Eulberg

Hearkening

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 17:42:00 +0000

He is now treading tenderly
traversing nightly
the pathway of my dreams

At odd moments
my name rings out
in his young, yet-unfeebled voice:
"Steven"

Not angry
nor hurried nor proud
just
"Steven"
a matter-of-fact attention-gatherer.

And I stop, mid-thought,
turning to look over my shoulder
around the next corner
in the midst of my waking reverie
or my busy slumber

And I hearken to the voice
that calls from a self-imposed distance
a gap seldom spanned
a chasm created by
a long train of estranging shovels-full of resentment,
of misunderstanding, of fear, defensiveness and regret.

I hearken and linger
Longingly fingering the memories of his guidance:

-The antiseptic whiff of isopropyl that chased him home
from his daily doses of patient visits
and lingered on the new one
of thick, double-book, storybooks that he
had mail-ordered for me to read
(The Wizard of Oz!)

-The aroma of freshly cut lumber,
the eye-blinking grit of sawdust
spit from a whining, woodshop wheel.

-The ache of sun-burned skin
(chilled by his prescription of
icy dill pickle juice)
from a stooping day of picking rocks found
by his riding roto-tiller.

-The sting of sweat
on the raw pink skin
beneath a newly-torn blister
and that same voice,
in then-seeming harsh reassurance,
" 's good--it'll give you a callous."

I hearken with wistful sorrow
and run my fingers over the stumbling surface
of one of his impressionistic carvings
fashioned in the community room of the
Community Nursing Home
(his favorite stroke-limited, physical activity
at his last physical address)
in what my sisters and I refer to as his
"Picasso Period."

I hearken and I pause
trying to fathom
whether I can or should
begin to smoothe surfaces
he began to shave
Before sealing his sculpture
from the elements and the ravages of time
that no longer age his body.

Am I, the surviving son,
capable of completing his work?
Am I, the estranged son
able to carry forth his vision
in even such a private way?
Am I, the eldest offspring
willing to step into his
place in the harness,
yielding him,
these many months,
finally to his cremated rest?

My name, in his voice,
is what I now hear
and what I couldn't hear
because he couldn't then speak
in the final post-stroke telephone "conversations"
we held--
me speaking to him
(wondering what words could hold us together
over long miles and rapidly shortening time)
as the nurse said he gripped the phone
with unusual remaining strength

I hearken now to the silence
I heard then, searching for
what he was longing to say

and I begin to anticipate
his return as tonight
I slip beneath my covers

This time, when I hear
my name in his voice
I'll hear his name in mine
as I often hear my own
in the voice of my son

"Hey Dad...want to play a game?"

11/08/03
©Steven B. Eulberg

Feathery Fingers of Fog

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sat, 01 Dec 2007 18:42:00 +0000

Feathery fingers of fog

flow furtively
featureless
fall back

pierced by the prodding sun
whose gaze washes
yet fails to penetrate
until

a fading fence fully embraces

a literal
and figurative shroud

©Steve Eulberg

Simeon

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:46:00 +0000

As his bald head bends,
white-crowned,
to smile with
grandfatherly eyes
upon the gurgling antics
of his grandson,
what thoughts amble or scamper
behind his experience-honed eyes,
years-worn with care
for the well-being of his ones,
dearly loved,
as he surveys,
with bittersweet anticipation,
the coming years
for this, the youngest of his progeny
knowing full well
that his life will end
before this wee one's
has scarcely
begun?

©2.21.82 Steve Eulberg

A Summer Haiku

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:44:00 +0000

Robin's egg sky with
Eyebrows, snowy-white, looks on
summer bright greenness.

CU©1979 Steve Eulberg

Reaped, Have I...

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 04:41:00 +0000

Reaped,
have I, far
more fruitful
harvest from en-routes
than ever
I gleaned from getting-theres.

CU ©1979 Steve Eulberg

Just a Routine

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 05:37:00 +0000

Just a routine
the dogs love to keep,
dragging me down to the
park in the dark,
a team of Belgians
on harness, not leash
At least until
the fleeting fancy strikes:
Perhaps these dogs are
part of my spiritual discipline
(which heaven knows is a bit flabby)
for they beg and whine
wiggle and wag,
yipping excited, hinting demands
until the comfort
of my easy chair,
and the warmth of home
are traded for winter wraps
and the brisk bite
of clear January night.

And lost in meditation,
punctuated by obedience training at crosswalks,
I am startled by the two,
slow-moving silhouettes,
bent in conversation.
At first,
fear for myself,
then,
as the dogs are released,
fear for them
(for the watch in the dog
ticks hearty warning)
Calling and whistling I move away
but not before catching a snippet:
"love..."
"charity..."
spill forth as the two lumber
slowly, one limping, the other matching stride,
up the hill
a pilgrim pair
finally out of reach of streetlamp's fingers
returning to shadow
leaving only the hum of
interstate traffic
scudding through the
sparkling star light
as punctuation
to my meditation.

Though I walk singly
in meditation
I am never alone.

1/12/89
©1989 Steve Eulberg

A Single, Lonely Toothbrush

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 05:33:00 +0000

A single, lonely toothbrush
hanging up above the faucet
the well-worn single tube
of paste alongside

One set of towels and washcloth
suspended over the bathtub

An empty shelf
upon the wall

I'm really not a fan of 'em
will hardly ever use one
"for ecology to be preserved," I say

But now that you are not here today
I must conclude that I

would rather hear the whir of you
Blowing your hair dry.

10/29/86

©1986 Steve Eulberg

Salvaging Death

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 05:20:00 +0000

Saturday's excursion
to the salvage yard—

walking back over muddy trails,
amid stacks and piles
of old, worn-out,
mostly-wrecked auto hulks,
shells of once-finely-tuned machines
through and between which has grown
the green of weeds
and the incessant shrill cry of crickets
who are background to the periodic
dip and sway of the doppler-like
fly buzzings,
together weave a shroud
with the muggy, musty mud-smell
of August

—with Tommie,
a red & yellow-eyed,
tool-toting attendant

We toss short comments between
strides and breath, seeking
conversation and contact

With the week's experience of
funeral and funeral home
I am immediately brought to
view it all as a graveyard

When I say so, Tommie muses,
in fashion that quickly reminds me
of the Greek way of expressing indirect question:
"Makes me wonder did some
die in 'em."
"Shore does,"
comes my reply.

And our search continues
for a VW door handle.

8/19/86

©1986 Steve Eulberg

i miss america

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 17:07:00 +0000

There once was a land where a lady would stand
With her lamp raised at the golden door
Saying, “bring me your huddled masses, tired and poor”
Now that welcome don’t seem so welcome any more
O—I miss America.

There once was a place where the whole human race
Could yearn to breathe free—haven of liberty—
Land of the brave, home of the free
Today the fearful forfeit freedom for a lock and key
O—I miss America.

O say, can you see me, I’m your neighbor
Like you I struggle and labor
I pull my own weight and do my share
And believe, yes I dare
That though we may differ
Together we are stronger than apart
E pluribus unum
O—we are America.

There once was a time where speaking your mind
Was a sign that you stood up like a grown man
And the strong one protected the weak one
Now the self-righteous belittle the meek one
O—I miss America.

Oh what do you do when the red, white and blue
Become a cloak to hide dirty laundry
And a muffle to choke those who disagree
And the emblem no longer serves to set us free?
O—I miss America.

Have you ever heard of a high-flying bird
Who can soar the sky with one wing missing?

Today I stand in my native land
Turn off the TV and I step out my door
To neighbor and stranger I offer my hand
Saying, “this land it is your land…This land it is my land”
E pluribus unum
O—we are America.
O—we are America.

(These are lyrics which you can hear recorded here: i miss america)
© 2006 Steve Eulberg, Administered by Owl Mountain Music, Inc.

do i sing to be heard

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 17:04:00 +0000

do i sing to be heard
or to begin to hear;
do i write to be read
or perhaps understand;
do i rise to be seen
or to learn to see?

it seems,
somehow,
if not,
i should.

CU 1979
©1979 Steve Eulberg

From My Tower

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Thu, 09 Aug 2007 17:01:00 +0000

Staring, intently,
From my tower
I command your
Lone figure to
Appear before me;
Yet crickets and
Other of this evening's
Musicians realize
And understand
What, at first I
Do not. They,
Therefore,
Parry my pleas
And do not
Sing the song
Of your entrance
For your appearance,
Then, would be
Mere apparition
Lacking in heart
Lacking in will
Hardly you at
All
So
From my tower,
Again,
I wait.

CU 1979
©1979 Steve Eulberg

Rippling Wave

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:56:00 +0000

In a rippling wave
of newly-awakened fur,
a grey-brown
squirrel spritely springs
across the open
green, gnawing
at the empty nut
husks, hesitant;
darting eyes
furtively figure
if he is safe.
Finished, yet famished,
he wheels
—blinding blur—
to turn tail
and head for
greener grasses.

CU 1979
©1979 Steve Eulberg

...Out Like a Lion...

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:53:00 +0000

Yester saw
the bud
of tender greenness
pregnant,
perched on
limb's delivery stool.
Today's eye,
unpeeled,
views
the craggy
fingernails of
November
seeking to
wrench the
life,
stillborn,
from its
issuing womb.

3/30/88
©1988 Steve Eulberg

Quickening

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sun, 05 Aug 2007 04:32:00 +0000

So quickly, I am surprised
So gently, I awake
She takes my slumbering hand
And to her stomach it is pressed
To find
The quickening of feet
and boxing hands
of Baby "Yogi"
The fruit of our love
Joy of our sharing
Creativity of our differences
Meshing together
Our hope for the future
God's word:
"The world should go on."

3/10/89
©1989 Steve Eulberg

All the Good Ones...

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:41:00 +0000

Overheard from a radio conversation:
"All the goods ones are married..."

Did you ever think that
they are "good ones"
as a result of marriage?

Not just that
it is somehow easier
to want the unhave-able
but that the process of marriage
hones and polishes like a gem tumbler
so that even the roughest of raw ore
in the daily grind and rub of relationship
begins to be worn
smooth and shiny
like the
tawny topaz?

3/13/93
©1993 Steve Eulberg

Well-Worn Shoe

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:37:00 +0000

How ever
could I have slipped
into the well-worn shoe
of comfortability?

How ever could I have lost
the tingle in my taste
for your you-nique-ness?

How ever
could my heart
lie sleeping safely
in accustomed rhythms of routine
Lulled to
slumber
by conscious efforts
to control and quiet
the steaming inferno
that so nearly ago
was stoked with only
a hint of
your ardor-igniting image?

So yesterday
was it?
that we tumbled
at every chance
into the embrace of
promised trust, acceptance
titillated by refrains of coming
kisses
climaxes
and love thoughts
love talks

How ever
could I have exchanged
the dynamo of our love
for the siren song of respectability,
false modesty
adorning deepened desire to control,
in fear of being lost,
adrift in the flood of passion and
lusty dream-fulfillment
choke-chain
gripping adolescent fantasia
about pulsing neck
restraining
retraining
refraining
from pleasure's caress
Focusing instead on projects
Agenda
flimsy newsprinted stories
of fleeting trivia?

How ever
could I have bargained
with eternity to gain
tiny bits of temporality
in a self-swindling
swapmeet?

8/6/87
©1987 Steve Eulberg

At the Thought

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sat, 04 Aug 2007 05:33:00 +0000

At the thought
of writing
my fingers flee
to the plastic-coating
of playing cards
a deck-full of
distraction.
To sit & pour
uncork, let flow
my feeling of loss
at your absence
causes me fear.
Without you here
nothing is what I do.
Ideas flock to my attention
But inactions safely herds them away
Apathy holds sway
my hollowness
rings as inner tears
drip
echoing
along the frame
of my desire
for you.

12/8/85
©1985 Steve Eulberg

His home is on the road

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 04:47:00 +0000

His hand is on the handle
his hat is on his head
his traveling shoes upon his feet

He pauses to ponder
wrestling with the words

It's not that he has to go
or that he needs to be free
it's just that sometimes he finds
his home is on the road.

03/09/07
©2007 Steve Eulberg

Music and I

noreply@blogger.com (Steve Eulberg) — Sun, 25 Dec 2005 06:50:00 +0000

I write music because my vocation
is to write music

I play music because my calling
is to play music

I teach music because I love
to see the "aha's" people experience
as the light comes on and their souls ignite

I publish music because
seeing it in black and white made it real—
the ephemeral now tangible

I record music because
that was originally a way to have people
take interest in what I'd made "real"

And then the process of recording
became more real than the black and the white

So now I offer myself
for rent, always for rent,
in hopes to get enough $ in the trade
that I can keep
composing music
learning music
playing music
loving music
to carry forward the music
of the generations.

©2005 Steve Eulberg